I feel so guilty for not doing anything for you. I haven't had a service for you. I said I was going to make a footprint for you and I haven't done a thing. Nothing. I haven't knit someone else a hat. I haven't helped anyone else in your honor. I have done nothing.
It actually makes me sick when I think about it. I haven't done anything for you. I spend all my time and energy trying to stay busy with other things. Pushing my knitting, my scrapbooking, my housework, so that I don't have to think about you. Because I miss you so much that the thought of you hurts too much.
I have to go and talk to a counselor today. I don't want to. I can't explain to this stranger how I feel and how losing you has completely destroyed me and my life. I am so fucked up now.