The Birds


Right after Liam died, I found myself being drawn to trees. To me they represented Liam. Right after Riley died, I found myself drawn to birds. Riley is my little bird. She had to fly away.
The bizarre connection to birds started on December 3rd, one week to the day after Riley was born. A few days earlier my husband asked Riley to send him a sign that she is okay. Always the humorist, he asked for her to send a bird to land on his car or maybe his head? The sound of birds chirping woke my husband up that morning. We were doing something with our son at the kitchen table and noticed the birds in the backyard. Tons of them. Playing between our 2 trees. At least 5 different kinds most of which I had never even seen before. I stood against the glass door. They kept flying up onto the railing that was covered in 6 inches of fluffy snow even though I was standing right there. There were bird tracks on our front porch which had been made at some point before we woke up. Did I mention that all of this was during a pretty intense snow storm? I have never seen anything like it.
Since, Riley and the birds continue to send me signs that my children are okay somewhere. I’ve never seen so many Canadian Geese in my life. A perfect feather sitting on the front porch where I sit. Bird tracks inside Hunter’s foot prints. A neighbor gave us a willow tree figure snuggling…..a bird. More bird tracks on the porch. Another neighbor gave us a bird Christmas ornament. She’s okay. He’s okay. My children are okay. They are free, flying and happy.