Plastic surgery. Shudder....
I've always had an issue with plastic surgery. I didn't like the idea of someone disliking their nose, breast, cheekbones, ears enough to voluntarily have themselves sliced and diced to look "better" and the way they "should" look. I've always thought of it as a huge reflection on society and our ridiculous obsession with the current definition of beauty. I won't go all feministy on everyone, just suffice it to say that I have never been a big cosmetic surgery fan.
But now, I have to say thank you to the throngs of people who have chosen plastic surgery over the last however many years. Without them there would have been no one for the surgeons to practice on in order to hone their skills for my surgery (Yes, I'm joking. Yes, I am slightly hypocritical....oh shit is Anonymous372 going to nail me to the wall?!?!). It is simply amazing the things plastic surgeons can do these days. Just INSANE.
I have 6 more full days with these breasts I was born with (Ok, not born with. That would have been an interesting labor and delivery story..... Growth hormones anyone??), the breasts God gave me, the breasts that are trying to kill me. Fuckers.....
I met with the plastic surgeon yesterday and because I am curious and interested as all get out, I got to see all the junk that is going to be attached to me (or in me...ew) when I wake up on the 7th. Oops, untrue statement; I didn't get to see the Alloderm, a "human tissue product." Oh yeah (read as Kuzco from Emperor's New Groove. For reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT4ySwoh27Q&feature=endscreen&NR=1), it's made from dead people skin.
My expanders. They stick these hot-water-bottle-esque things under my chest muscle and fill them half way up with saline. Every week for about 6 weeks, I will go into the doctor and get the new girls pumped up. The weird spot on the expander, is the port. A magnet is used to find the port under my skin and muscle. Then a needle is shoved in there and I get inflated. Like so:
My lovely surgical drains. That long straight bit will actually be IN my body to collect fluids; it is sutured into me. I will have two on each side. I'll pretty much look like this:
6 days and counting. 'Til the "icky stuff in Mommie's booby" is out of me and in the trash where it belongs. In 6 days, I become the Bionic Woman.