Friday, November 23, 2012

My blobby friends

In under 3 hours I will be going into my OBGYN for another ultrasound and Hcg levels blood draw.   Turns out I'm not pregnant.  "What?!?" you say.  "Hcg levels = pregnancy"  Oh you wonderfully naive person I just made up in my head...  I do love you so.  I am not growing a baby up in that uterus of mine, but a mass of cells.   Lots of masses of cells.  Little tumors.  My blobby friends.  I have a molar pregnancy.

Ok, honestly the doctor hasn't confirmed it as a molar pregnancy, but that's what it is.  I saw the ultrasound.  I saw the blobs.  I had them throw the images out, but here is a googled image that looks the way my uterus does.
All that wonderful cottage cheese cellulite stuff?   Tumors..... Masses.....  Whatever word you chose to use.

To remove my growths, they have to do a D&C (a surgery to scrape out your uterus) and they may continue to grow.  These bastards are incredibly resilient.  My Hcg levels (because my blobby friends put off Hcg just like a nice of them) will have to be monitored for 6 months to a year before I'm allowed to try to conceive again.    Hahaha...  as if. 

When they confirm the molar pregnancy, they are not just saying to me, "Yep, Amy, you are pregnancy with blobs, not baby."   They are also saying "You're done with kids.  No more babies for you.  You are done having children."  Granted, that isn't their choice, but mine.  After 2 losses in 11 months, then this a year later.... I. AM. DONE.

My husband, the wonderful math geek, figured out the chances of us having a 13 week miscarriage AND a miscarriage due to an amniotic band (Riley was stillborn, not really a miscarriage, but that shit is so rare there aren't any statistics on it), AND a molar pregnancy....

1 in 1.8 million.   The chances of those 3 things happening to one little family, 1 in 1.8 million.

I seem to always be the 1.   The low statistic.  That's me.  Here I am.   So the number around this molar pregnancy scare me.  80% of the masses are noncancerous.    10-15% of women with a complete molar pregnancy need chemotherapy to kill off the masses.  (1% in partial molar pregnancy).  Very rarely the moles (aka my blobby friends), can form a choriocarsinoma (cancer) spread beyond your uterus (1 in 40,000).

Can they just.......take out my uterus?   That's sounding a bit easier to me.

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